Leave it to Anus
Tired of your blockchain transactions getting stuck in the digital colon? OpenAnus leverages cutting-edge AI to analyze your on-chain bowel movements, ensuring every token drop is smooth and every smart contract execution is a clean wipe. No more rug pulls, just pure, unadulterated decentralized delight, straight from the source!
Try OpenAnusThe $ANUS Token
CA: FHR7jgEhcsyBr65FnuzqYWYzfnN2cSJe2JNWiKubpump
Tokenomics coming soon... prepare your portfolios for a massive dump... of value! We promise it won't be a shitcoin... or do we? Invest at your own peril, degens!
Voices from the Trenches
"OpenAnus AI analyzed my transaction flow and, let me tell you, my gas fees have never been smoother! It's like a digital bidet for my blockchain interactions. My portfolio is no longer constipated!"
- Sir Dumps-a-Lot
Chief Excretion Officer, CryptoPloppers Inc.
"I used to dread deploying smart contracts. So many variables, so much pressure. Now, with OpenAnus, it's a release! The AI ensures every line of code is... well-digested. My DAO is now a well-oiled septic tank of innovation!"
- Baron Von Fartcoin
Lead Deuce Developer, Solana Swirlers
"My NFT mints were always getting clogged. OpenAnus identified the bottlenecks in my generative art's pipeline. Now, every drop is a masterpiece of... regularity. My collectors are flushed with excitement!"
- Lady Logarella
Grand Poo-bah of Pixel Piles
"The market is volatile, like a bad vindaloo. OpenAnus helps me navigate the FUD and FOMO with its advanced sentiment analysis. It's like having a crystal ball that smells faintly of success... and something else."
- Professor Plopchain
Senior Shitcoin Strategist, DeFi Doodads
"Running a validator node used to be a pain in the... well, you know. OpenAnus optimized my staking rewards and uptime. Now I'm earning passive income while I'm on the actual throne! It's the future of finance!"
- Captain Crapper
Node Operator, Proof-of-Poop Network
"OpenAnus AI analyzed my transaction flow and, let me tell you, my gas fees have never been smoother! It's like a digital bidet for my blockchain interactions. My portfolio is no longer constipated!"
- Sir Dumps-a-Lot
Chief Excretion Officer, CryptoPloppers Inc.
"I used to dread deploying smart contracts. So many variables, so much pressure. Now, with OpenAnus, it's a release! The AI ensures every line of code is... well-digested. My DAO is now a well-oiled septic tank of innovation!"
- Baron Von Fartcoin
Lead Deuce Developer, Solana Swirlers
"My NFT mints were always getting clogged. OpenAnus identified the bottlenecks in my generative art's pipeline. Now, every drop is a masterpiece of... regularity. My collectors are flushed with excitement!"
- Lady Logarella
Grand Poo-bah of Pixel Piles
"The market is volatile, like a bad vindaloo. OpenAnus helps me navigate the FUD and FOMO with its advanced sentiment analysis. It's like having a crystal ball that smells faintly of success... and something else."
- Professor Plopchain
Senior Shitcoin Strategist, DeFi Doodads
"Running a validator node used to be a pain in the... well, you know. OpenAnus optimized my staking rewards and uptime. Now I'm earning passive income while I'm on the actual throne! It's the future of finance!"
- Captain Crapper
Node Operator, Proof-of-Poop Network
Pricing Plans
The Dribbler
Free!
Forever and ever
- Basic On-Chain Flow Analysis
- Occasional Smart Contract Skid Mark Detection
- Community Support (Good Luck)
- Up to 1 Token Dump per Month
The Regular
Free!
Forever and ever
- Advanced AI-Powered Bowel Movement Tracking
- Priority Shitcoin Shilling Channel Access
- Unlimited Token Dumps (BYO-Toilet Paper)
- 24/7 Emotional Support for When You Get Rekt
The Power Plunger
Free!
Forever and ever
- Enterprise-Grade Excrement Analytics
- Dedicated Whale Movement Monitoring
- Direct Line to the Devs (They Might Flush Your Ideas)
- Customizable Gas Fee Lubrication
- A Golden Toilet NFT (Probably Worthless)